Tuesday, June 3, 2014

First Time Mother

Maybe this is just me, but I cry at EVERY new event or milestone that Arlo & Josiah experience, but I don't with Miles. Does this mean that I love A&J more than Miles?? Of course not. After evaluating this observation for a while now, I have concluded that I am experiencing these milestones with A& J as a "First Time Mother" - and because it's my first experience to have a child call me "mama" or a child go to preschool, I'm gonna cry.

Let me explain with a few recent real life examples.

1. I cried when Arlo & Josiah gave their first talks in Church Primary.
           & when they let go in the pool's deep water & swam to the stairs all by themselves.
           & when I dropped them off at preschool for the first time. 
           & when they graduated preschool.
           & when they started their first soccer practice.
           & when they said mama for the first time as babies.....
            etc, etc, etc, .........

2. I rejoiced when Miles went to Nursery/gym childcare without a fuss. We slapped high-fives & he went in without looking back. I can't believe that I didn't cry.  He goes through all the same type of milestones as A&J, but I don't ever cry. 

Heck, I even have "First Time Mother" moments for other parents & their oldest kids. For example, I cried when I went to Presli Burnham's first dance recital. And when I watched my oldest nephew pass the sacrament for the first time.

Am I the only one?

I love these little guys.
Preschool Graduation, May 2014
My Mother's Day present from Arlo, he made at school

My Mother's Day present from Josiah, at school.
Can I just say that EVERYONE loves Miles - he's like a celebrity when we go to A&J's preschool

And like most other people, he LOVES the attention. Can you tell?
Some backyard swim time.

Miles & his potato head creations
Presli Burnham at her first dance recital

Pregnancy & 2 babies

This past weekend I hit 33 weeks gestation for babies 4 & 5 and folks, it’s getting real.
Real; as in, these babies could come any day.  I will probably, most definitely have 5 children before the end of THIS MONTH.  It’ll be a serious reality check.
Am I ready?
Well, is anyone ever truly ready?  Sure, we’ve read books, bought the cribs, carseats, strollers, diapers & enough clothes for the first few months. But can you mentally, emotionally & physically be prepared for a baby? Yet, here I am having more children and I couldn’t be happier.   I must be crazy. =)

It may be embarrassing, but yes, I am doing the belly/maternity pose outside of a restaurant. Let's be real....at home I can't keep my mirrors clean long enough to take a mirror selfie, so I have to ask friends to do it while I'm out in public...lol

 For the few who may be interested in my specifics, here you go…laying it all out on the table.
Weight gain 30lbs 
Waist 42 inches
Babies are over 4lb each right now, each with his/her own placenta.
We are 90% sure that we have the babies’ names picked out – but going along with southern superstition, we will not reveal names until after they are born. 
I just noticed my first stretch mark and I’m trying to be okay with it – those cute babies will be worth it. (But still lathering my belly in coconut oil/essential oils in an effort to stop any more potential marks.)
I’m still hitting the gym at least twice a week –the exercise keeps my joints from getting too stiff and the endorphins help me stay positive :P
The babies “dropped” at 32 weeks and I’ve had to slow down a lot this past week. Excuse my crudeness, but I feel like I have an oversized bowling ball between my legs. It’s not comfortable.  And it’s not pretty…I waddle now.

Arlo & Josiah came at 33 weeks/5 days. My goal this time to get past that date and hopefully all the way to 35 weeks. Every day counts. It’s one less day that they stay in the NICU.  So, in an effort to postpone delivery, I am taking a nap/resting for an hour every day. It’s against my personality to nap, and sometimes I have to force myself to sit on the couch. The other day I turned Netflix on for the boys so I could rest and at some point I dozed off. When I woke up I realized that the boys had lost interest in the show a long time ago and had taken matters in their own hands. The toy/family room was a disaster zone of toys and Miles had let the dog out to the backyard unsupervised (where she jumped the fence, followed some walkers/bikers & we finally got a phone call from a concerned citizen who checked her collar – she was over a mile from home….good grief dog!)   So, I need to plan a little better next time I take a rest.

On to a serious note.
I’m thrilled that we are expecting again. Timing is not what we planned, but there are so many wonderful things for which to be thankful.
1.       We conceived with NO MEDICAL help. In 10 years of marriage we had NEVER conceived without IUI or IVF – this pregnancy is not short of a MIRACLE.  (Time to start using birth control, darn it – I’ve got to give my body time to recover before it happens again.)
2.       Not only did we spontaneously conceive, but somehow we got TWINS!! DOUBLE MIRACLE.  I’ve told my story to several doctors and none have ever heard of a story quite like ours.
3.       I don’t have to be pregnant through the entire south Texas summer. Thank heavens.
4.       No complications during this pregnancy & we are praying for a healthy delivery.
5.       These babies will be welcomed by 3 little boys who are SO excited. They will be smothered in brotherly love. 

And can I please give a small piece of advice to all those “with good intentions” ???
PLEASE PLEASE do not imply that this should be my last baby/babies. You may certainly ASK if I want more children after this, but do not vocalize the assumption that this is my last. What right do you have to make that decision for me??  I have had multiple acquaintances and strangers tell me “Oh great, you will get your girl, now you can be done having babies.” NO/MAYBE/YES…..I don’t know if this will be my last pregnancy, but don’t you dare TELL me this is my last.  

Let me respond to you politely, “We haven’t made any decisions yet and don’t plan to do so until the time comes and Heavenly Father tells us what is right for us.”
So, let me enjoy my boys and look forward to the sweet little ones that will be coming soon.