Sunday, November 15, 2009

this has all been swimming in my head......... i need to write it down...

>A few thoughts on motherhood and gratitude to Heavenly Father for sending my angel boys... This past June Jason and I were double-blessed with Josiah & Arlo in our family. As a mother I can legitimately say that my boys are absolutely perfect in every way!!! Jason and I could not ask for sweeter babies. Since they were born, our lives have changed drastically for the better. Motherhood is tough and there are moments that I doubt myself, but I remember a mother of triplets once told me that we are given only what we are capable of handling.

These past 2 weeks I’ve had several opportunities to share my experiences on fertility. Many of you may not know details of our story and some is too personal to share on a blog. But Jason and I have changed in so many ways because of the trials that we faced and the blessings that came from them. I would be selfish if I didn’t express my gratitude. Jason and I spent more than three years visiting doctors, taking tests & medications, and riding the emotional roller coaster to build our family. Reflecting on those years of struggle & heartache, I am finally unfolding a few of the lessons that Heavenly Father wanted Jason and me to learn.

First, Jason and I have become closer as a couple. As we struggled, we relied on each other for comfort & strength. I better understand the scripture that says we should “cleave” to our spouse.

Second, I have learned that one should not rely on man, but on the Lord alone. The first time we did in-vitro Jason and I were confident that it would be successful. We had the modern miracle of medicine, science & first class doctors; all the nurses assured us that it would work. According to the statistics, we were absolutely going to be a success. When it failed Jason and I hit rock bottom…what went wrong?? We both struggled to understand. We waited a few months before the second attempt, only this time, we put our faith in the Lord. Jason and I both received multiple Priesthood blessings. We relied on the words of those blessings to recover & to look forward. I am so grateful for modern medicine, but most importantly on the Lord & his understanding of what we need most. I don’t know if we’ll need to do in-vitro to have more children, but I know that the Lord will take care of us.

I am so grateful for my little family. My husband is so supportive & loving; I know that he would do anything to make me happy. Our boys are the center of our lives and I would do anything in the world to protect them.

I think every mother understands this.